Trees Eat People's World Wide Tour will be coming to your town somewhere within the next 10 to 20 years. Probably.
Actually, we have never toured, and we won't be able to for quite some time. Which leads to the question, "Why the hell is there a 'tour' section on this website?" Well, I'll tell ya....uh... I dunno. It was late at night, okay?
Anyway, we should probably release our first record before we start touring. Hopefully we'll get a chance to do that sometime soon. We have many, many demo CDs and a vast quantity of CDs filled with our jamming, so we have plenty of ideas. By jove, I think we've got 10 albums worth of material. What we really need is time and space!
Yes, time and space to finish writing our songs, jam them out and work out the kinks, and then record them. Right now, everything is happening in Tim's bedroom, which cozy though it is, is not a good recording studio. We need a warehouse or a practice space, but, as you can see from our bios, we're all poor and many of us are unemployed.
So where is this sob-story heading, and why should you care? Well, if you want to be the person who basically "makes" this band, then, by all means, e-mail email@example.com and tell us you've got a place near Minnesota for us to practice/play/record. It would really help out a lot. If you ever dreamed of being on those "Special Thanks to:" lists in the backs of CD inserts, this is your chance.
Besides, we can help you out with whatever you need. We've got skillz. Mad skillz, I tells ya! Besides musical skills, we've got (between us) computer skills (websites, networking, graphic design, some programming & more), engineering skills, writing/English skills, photography skills, car repair skills, and more.
If this pathetic plea hasn't moved you, then just think of the children. Yes, the children who need music! What will they listen to on the radio? Britney Spears, N'SUCK and other soulless corporate-creations? Is that what you would condemn them to? Because you have a chance to make it all okay by giving us practice space. We promise to take over the world (musically) and vanquish shitty music back to the foul, unholy pit from whence it came.
Of course, if you don't have a practice space, you could just send us some money. Anything, man! Have pity!
Anyway, sorry for that long plea. I'm sure it won't work, but it was worth a shot. We'll get there eventually.